Yes, I am ridiculous and an embarrassment to my mother.

So, having an immature wedding “crisis” this week.

It’s really not a biggie, but true to form, it’s now all I’m thinking about – even when I should be thinking about bigger, more important things like, ahem, work. So I have my dress – it is perfect for me; a touch vintage, romantic, pretty, not too meringue-y, and in a style that I know makes the most of my shape. The fact that it fits me perfectly straight out of the box and had a waaaay less than RRP price tag were also bonuses. It’s the kind of dress that goes with the style of wedding that we are planning too; with the cake, flowers, church, reception, dance, photographer, invites, save-the-dates, table plan etc etc etc. And that is the wedding that I want too; I’m not being a whiney brat crying that I am being forced into a big wedding. It’s not like that at all. It’s just that it is turning into a Big Deal, you know? A kind of intimidating big event with near-certain day-after wallowing “what do I do now” moping and self-pity (yes, I am a big baby). This is ridiculous, because I know how much fun I’ll have, how much I will love the day – after all, my sister’s wedding was one of the so-called “traditional” ones and it rocked. And that’s the kind of wedding I (we, hopefully! Ha!) want – it’s nothing so dramatic as me rebelling against the pressures of family or anything like that. In fact, I think it is fair to say that I am the one turning it into a big deal with my endless dwelling on bridesmaid dresses and flower arrangements!! So I have only myself to blame. Hell, it’s not even that big of an “affair” – just your standard wedding with all the regular accoutrements.

But (there’s always a but) now I have seen a dress that is the cause of a dramatic paradigm shift (ha, again – I’m far too melodramatic) in my wedding thinking. I tried it on in the hope that it would emphasise my munchkin-esq physique. Unfortunately, it made me look tall and thin with legs up to my armpits (anyone who knows me well know that this never happens). This dress inspires visions of a town hall elopement with minimal flowers and fuss followed by a blow out party. And I would wear sunglasses in our photos. So, the question is; shall I put on my big girl pants and Deal With It – I have a beautiful beautiful dress and let’s be realistic, it’s not all about the dress. Or, shall I channel my inner J-Lo and have a second dress for the reception. It is £125, which doesn’t seem like much, but to me is enough money in NZD for it not to be considered a bargain – so would be more expense on something that is certainly not a necessity. And I don’t want people to judge me for being that girl with the two wedding dresses. But, dammit I would have SO much fun partying in that dress.